err.. i decided to make another blog. this is what boredom does to a person who has absolutely nothing to do. and umm.. another reason is that i need a more private blog. its not like im keeping anything. but i dont want people browsing thru my blog. yung mga pinagkakatiwalaan ko lang. *sigh* he's online. it hurts to know that i cant do anything to make it work. i did try my best.


im really really scared. i may not show it but im scared to go through those sleepless nights that seem to never end. all those fears of him finding someone else... :( i know i can survive. its just a matter of patience, faith, and yes... time. :( i seriously miss him. its been long since we last talked. and i mean.. talk. lately.. hes been busy. he couldnt make himself available for me. but i perfectly understand. hes the type of person who prioritizes his responsibilities in school over anything else and i guess thats a good thing. i seriously admire him for that. the painful part is that when hes not available.. he really is unavailable. its like i have to beg him to spare a few minutes for me.


i had a serious talk with mae this morning. shes my dormate btw. so there. she and her boyfriend have been in the rocks for weeks and well..she decided to take a time off just last monday. she's been telling me how painful it is to know that her bf would rather do other things than make her feel as if she's needed. i kind of felt bad for her. and at the same time lucky for i know.. i have him. and tho hes busy.. he still thinks about me. come wednesday morning.. he broke it off. he said hes having a hard time. he said he cant do it anymore. i felt crushed. all the hardwork and nothing? isnt it unfair? am i not good enough?? :( kulang pa ba efforts ko? para makita nya hindi dapat basta basta nalang? hay.. naiintindihan ko naman na nahihirapan na sha e. pero wala namang madali e. yung bagay na sinasabe nyang d nya kaya baguhin.. d lang naman nya kailangang baguhin lang para magkasundo kami e... kahit iba pa maging gf nya.. kailangan nyang baguhin yun. kasi yunn magiging rason para mag away sila. hay... i never asked him for anything. gusto ko lang naman maintindihan ako e. and besides.. madali namang mag text e. pero kundi nya kaya yun... okay lang. pero sana naman.. pag nalungkot nako. maintindihan rin ako. i seriously thought his reaction would be more like: "im sorry baby...yadda yadda". but no... twas the exact opposite. and yes.. he finally gave up on me. im back to square one.


its just that i love him so much. *sigh* its gonna be a long ride in hell. :(


ah yes. song of the moment.


i hear you're taking the town again
havin' a good time with all your good time friends
i don't think that you think of me
you're on your own now, and i'm alone and free
i know that i should get on with my life
but a life lived without you could never be right


as long as the stars shine down from the heavens
long as the rivers run to the sea
i'll never get over you gettin' over me


i try to smile so the hurt won't show
tell everybody i was glad to see you go
but the tears just won't go away
loneliness found me, looks like it's here to stay
i know that i oughta find someone new
but all i find is myself always thinkin' of you


oh, no matter what i do
spending a lifetime to live through
i can't go on like this
i need your touch
you're the only one i've ever loved


i'll never get over you gettin' over



Burn


It's gonna burn for me to say this
But it's comin from my heart
It's been a long time coming
But we done been fell apart
Really wanna work this out
But I don't think you're gonna change
I do but you don't
Think it's best we go our separate ways
Tell me why I should stay in this relationship
When I'm hurting baby, I ain't happy baby
Plus theres so many other things I gotta deal with
I think that you should let it burn


When your feeling ain't the same and your body don't want to
But you know gotta let it go cuz the party ain't jumpin' like it used to
Even though this might bruise you
Let it burn
Let it burn
Gotta let it burn


Deep down you know it's best for yourself but you
Hate the thought of her being with someone else
But you know that it's over
Been knew it was through
Let it burn
Let it burn
Gotta let it burn


Sendin' pages I ain't supposed to
Got somebody here but I want you
Cause the feelin ain't the same find myself
Callin' her your name
Ladies tell me do you understand?
Now all my fellas do you feel my pain?
It's the way I feel
I know I made a mistake
Now it's too late
I know she ain't comin back
What I gotta do now
To get my shorty back
Man I don't know what I'm gonna do
Without my booo
You've been gone for too long
It's been fifty-leven days, um-teen hours
Imma be burnin' till you return


When your feeling ain't the same and your body don't want to
But you know gotta let it go cuz the party ain't jumpin' like it used to
Even though this might bruise you
Let it burn
Gotta let it burn


Deep down you know its best for yourself but you
Hate the thought of her being with someone else
But you know that it's over
Been knew it was through
Let it burn
Gotta let it burn


I'm twisted cuz one side of me is tellin' me that I need to move on
On the other side I wanna break down and cry
I'm twisted cuz one side of me is tellin' me that I need to move on
On the other side I wanna break down and cry



So many days, so many hours
I'm still burnin' till you return


When your feeling ain't the same and your body don't want to
But you know gotta let it go cuz the party ain't jumpin' like it used to
Even though this might bruise you
Let it burn
Let it burn
Gotta let it burn


Deep down you know it's best for yourself but you
Hate the thought of her being with someone else
But you know that it's over
Been knew it was through
Let it burn
Let it burn
Gotta let it burn


prang kanta ata nya yan for me a. nyi! owell.. even if im crushed to bits n pieces.. i have no regrets. if i could turn back time and choose whether to be with him again or not... id still want him in my life. and im glad i spent my happy days with him and not anyone else. :( i miss him like mad. :(